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Zipper Tales

I've had some pretty intense situations happen to be repeatedly, like 'falling' at different occasions.

Since those falls, I have been quite careful with how I walk, and, I am proud to say that to date, I haven't had any embarrassing falls.  Instead, I have been privileged with other types 'intense situations' - malfunctioning zippers.

Zipper Malfunction #1
I was returning to Thailand after visiting my brother in California back in 2010.  On the flight back to Bangkok, from Taipei, my zipper literally popped.  I was wearing short shorts, a grey shirt, a cardigan, and boat shoes.  I was going for the chillaxed, I-travel-a-lot kinda look.  The flight was uneventful, until I tugged on my zipper to check if my fly was secured.  You know how sometimes the tape (the two parts that become connected when the zipper is pulled up) remains connected, even after the zipper is pulled off (maybe because it broke or maybe because there are no top stops) - well this happened to me.  The zipper just came all the way off, leaving my pants 'zipperless'.  It had to happen right after I finished the meal and drank a whole glass of juice and water.  Sure enough, half an hour after this, I had to use the bathroom.  But using the bathroom would mean risking the tape getting disconnected, and this would mean that my fly would be wide open.  I went to the bathroom and tried to figure out if I could ride my pant high enough so I can pee without having to fiddle around with my zipper.  Nothing worked.  I returned to my seat. And waited.  Landed.  Waited.  Cleared Immigration.  Waited.  Waited for my luggage.  Got my luggage, ran to the nearest restroom, tore my pants open and sat on the toilet while listening to wonderful sounds of release similar to that of the Niagara falls.  Took a fresh pair of pants from my luggage and happily left the airport.
  
Zipper Malfunction #2   
This happened last week.  I was, again, wearing short shorts.  I was bringing a couple of friends visiting from Sabah to Asiatique.  We had taken the boat from Saphan Thaksin to get to Asiatique.  As we approached the pier at Asiatique, I tugged on my zipper to check if everything was in place.  The zipper head wasn't in place.  It had caught some fabric.  I couldn't pull it all the way up.  In situations like this you would pull it lower, and try to separate the fabric as you pulled the zipper down, hoping that the fabric would dislodge itself from the zipper.  I did this.  Fabric stayed.  I pulled the zipper all the way to the bottom and the fabric was still stuck.  We got to the pier, and I jumped off the boat, and ran to a dark corner of the pier.  My friends called out to me to check if I was okay.  I wasn't okay so I called one of them to come help me.  He held my pants down by pulling at the crotch area while I pulled the zipper back up.  While doing this, we both did little jumps.  What a sight it must have been.   

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